thank you

GerritVB (8:33:04 PM): again, you have no means of replying to your blog, so bear with me, this is going to be a somewhat long reply to your latest post, but only because I am quoting something.
GerritVB (8:33:44 PM): The following is what Socrates said after he was sentenced to death, and I find it relevant to your post.
GerritVB (8:34:52 PM): Not much time will be gained, O Athenians, in return for the evil name
which you will get from the detractors of the city, who will say that
you killed Socrates, a wise man; for they will call me wise even
although I am not wise when they want to reproach you. If you had waited
a little while, your desire would have been fulfilled in the course of
nature. For I am far advanced in years, as you may perceive, and not far
from death. I am speaking now only to those of you who have condemned me
to death. And I have another thing to say to them: You think that I was
convicted through deficiency of words -- I mean, that if I had thought
fit to leave nothing undone, nothing unsaid, I might have gained an
acquittal. Not so; the deficiency which led to my conviction was not of
words -- certainly not. But I had not the boldness or impudence or
inclination to address you as you would have liked me to address you,
weeping and wailing and lamenting, and saying and doing many things
which you have been accustomed to hear from others, and which, as I say,
are unworthy of me. But I thought that I ought not to do anything common
or mean in the hour of danger: nor do I now repent of the manner of my
defence, and I would rather die having spoken after my manner, than
speak in your manner and live."

and thank you too, joe. i know i don't say it often enough, but thank you.

sarcasm

well i'm gald to see that i count for something these days.

what i really hate is when people blatently lie in order to get someone else's approval.

be honest, please. it makes you a much better person who people will actually enjoy being around.

ugh. i can't stand this.

i'm sorry that i'm not perfect and i don't do exactly what everyone wants me to. i do listen and take everyone's advice into account. but i'm not sorry for believing in the ideals that i do. i'm especially not sorry for people who are fake and dishonest. it's their own fault.

i'm sorry i care.

i'm a bio dork

You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

isn't it funny

that people always are more active and helpful when they want something from you. that's not always a bad thing, but it would be much better if they could act that way all the time. it's a more accurate reflection of who someone is.

honesty is still the best policy.

one thing i want to do if elected to the sns board next year is to make sure that i'm looking out for what's best for the organization, not just what's best for me.

i still like fluffies.

i got locked out of my room last night because i am dumb and i couldn't see my fluffies for a whole night. it was very sad.

and now i have to work on my proks term paper that i don't want to do.

fun fun fun... now that daddy took the t-bird away!

yay new fluffy again!

so joe the poo got me a new fluffy for easter!

he is a mohair fluffy so he is made of goats

he says hello:




















hooray!!

i'm not that girl

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl

need some inspiration and cheering up?

go listen to some of those classic broadway musicals that everyone loves. you know the uplifting, everything-goes-right-in-the-end-of-course kind of shows.

so far i've listened to "how to succeed in business without really trying" "damn yankees" and "me and my girl"
i also wanted to listen to "anything goes" "guys and dolls" "crazy for you" and "42nd street" but i have to go to bed now.

i found out today that the mohair fluffy is made from goats.

here's some cheering up for you:

Now, you may join the Elks, my friend,
And I may join the Shriners;
And other men may carry cards
As members of the Diners.

Still others wear a golden key
Or small Greek letter pin;
But I have learned there's one great club
That all of us are in.

There is a Brotherhood of Man,
A Benevolent Brotherhood of Man,
A noble tie that binds
All human hearts and minds
Into one Brotherhood of Man.

Your lifelong membership is free.
Keep agivin' each brother all you can.
Oh aren't you proud to be
In that fraternity,
The great big Brotherhood of Man?

So, Wally, before you consider firing everybody, remember this:

One man may seem incompetent,
Another not make sense,
While others look like quite a waste
Of company expense.

They need a brother's leadership,
So please don't do them in.
Remember mediocrity
Is not a mortal sin.

They're in the Brotherhood of Man,
Dedicated to giving all we can.
Oh, aren't you proud to be
In that fraternity,
The great big Brotherhood of Man?

You, you got me;
Me, I got you, you!

Oh, that noble feeling,
Feels like bells are pealing,
Down with double-dealing,
Oh Brother!

You, you got me;
Me, I got you, you!

Your lifelong membership is free.
Keep agivin' each brother all you can.
Oh aren't you proud to be
In that fraternity,
The great big Brotherhood of Man?

yay!
i'm still sick.

today i am dying

ugh. my nose won't stop dripping and i have absolutely no energy to move today. the worst part is i have to be better by tomorrow.

this has been the worst week of my entire life.
i didn't get either the scholarship or the research scholars program that i applied for which means i'm going to be really really broke this summer. joe and i had a huge screaming fight during my party on friday night and things are still a little weird for me but better than yesterday.

i have so many huge life-changing decisions to make over the next few weeks.
first i need to decide if i want to run for the sns board of directors again. i'm not sure i want to do this because i'm so sick of everything sns right now. i think it may just be because cabaret hurts me a lot more than i first thought it would and things are just getting really stressful and strained. the break would be really nice. but at the same time, this is such a big part of my life that i don't know if i can let it go. i feel like my only role in this organization sometimes is just being a board member. sure i'm on production staffs and stuff but i don't actually do much of anything with that. i don't know what i'm going to do.
second is the poo. i know he says i don't have to decide anything at all right now. and i'm glad we've decided to take things really slow at least until carnival is over and everyone's life gets a little less complicated (even if still just as busy). i really don't know what i want out of this relationship right now. maybe just a friend? i still hate labels and all the bullshit that goes along with relationships. i don't know what to do about that.
third, but way more long term and far off to decide, is grad schools. right now i feel like a failure and dr woolford's list of grad schools for me including yale, harvard and mit just seems stupid and impossible. at least most places on that list provide full stipends to go there. i wouldn't have to pay for much of anything which is good because i wouldn't be able to at all.

on a lighter note, i think the highlight of my week was going out to phi bar with the bio people on friday and the beginning part of that party (before i got locked into my own bathroom and screamed at for an hour). phi bar and bio people was a nice change for once. it was so relaxing and just fun. pictures are in my andrew space andrew space. and that is also fun. if this becomes a weekly thing i will be very happy.

and unfortunately, my life gets no easier this coming week. it just gets busier. with classes and paints and carnival and scotch of the rocks and work and aaron's sedar, i will have no free time at all. joe and i won't be a problem because we won't see each other at all for the next two weeks. it's going to be insane.

i need tissues and to be able to breathe and be happy again. good thing i have fluffies.

daylight savings

man, am i tired.